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J Hr Introduction Page i Table Manners I. Page 25 "Why? Church Headaches. THE Goops they lick their fingers, And the Goops they lick their knives; They spill their broth on the table- cloth Oh, they lead disgusting lives! The Goops they talk while eating. The Goops are all dirty, and what do they do? They like to be dirty, and stay so. If you needed a bath, you would say so! I wonder why it is well-bred. If you must sneeze, to turn your head. Perhaps the reason is because The Goops, they never have such laws!

When little brother stubs his toe, Do you look on and laugh? Will they, without being told, Wait on you, when you are old, Or be heedless, selfish, cold? Whose book is that on the chair? The knife and the pencils and other utensils, Now how do they come to be there?

If you lent your playthings, I think you would say things If no one returned them to you! When mother bade him stop his play, Then " Why? He always made the same reply. Are the Goops the ones to blame? Did you ever catch them playing at their horrid little games? Do you sharpen pencils, Ever, on the floor? What becomes of orange- peels And your apple-core?

Can you blameyour mother If she looks severe. When she says, "It looks to me As if the Goops were here"? The children point, and stare. He went where mother had forbid, And said he "didrit care!

He made his mother cry The children whoop "You are a Goop! George Adolphus, fie! And both would use such words as these : "Excuse me. The Goops do this, and they do more, They peep and listen at the door! They open bottles of cologne, And feel of parcels not their own! You must not crawl upon your knees; Be careful of your elbows, please!

If you ask a Goop to go and post a letter, Or to run upon an errand, how they act! But somehow I imagine you are better, And you try to go, and cry to go, in fact! Kiss me, and promise you will! All your playthings and your toys Must be trained like girls and boys! Are you cautious and discreet?

Do you look about for horses When your little brother crosses? Oh, be very cautious, please, I can tell by signs like these You have got the Goop Disease!


Goops and How to Be Them: A Manual of Manners for Polite Infants Inculcating Many Juvenile Virtues

Start your review of Goops and How to Be Them: A Manual of Manners for Polite Infants Inculcating Many Juvenile Virtues Write a review Aug 19, Rachel rated it it was amazing This book taught me how to have the terrible manners I have today, such that my friends at summer camp refused to eat at the same table with me because of the way I held my spoon. Thank god for the Goops. I am going to be the creepy aunt that buys this as a present for babies. Jun 23, Helynne rated it liked it When I was small, I had a book of childrens poems that had two stanzas of Gelett Burgesss collection about The Goopsspecifically, the lines about table manners: The goops they lick their fingers. The goops they lick their knives. They spill their broth on the table cloth. They lead disgusting lives.







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